I am in Heaven now, sitting on God’s lap.
He loves me and cries with me;
for my heart has been broken.
I so wanted to be your little girl.
I don’t quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place.
I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing,
yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.
I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped
you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much.
One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you. I couldn’t imagine
why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible
A very mean monster came into that warm,
comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming,
but you never once tried to help me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as
I was screaming and screaming,
“Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me.”
Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn’t anymore.
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.
It didn’t stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.
I knew I would never see your face or hear you say
how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn’t; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror,
I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things
that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone,
but I didn’t know the words you could understand.
And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them;
I was dead.
I felt myself rising. I was being carried by
a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to God and set me on His lap.
He said He loved me. Then I was happy.
I asked Him what the thing was that killed me.
He answered, “Abortion.
I am sorry, my child;
for I know how it feels.”
I don’t know what abortion is;
I guess that’s the name of the monster.
I’m writing to say that I love you and
to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.
I tried very hard to live.
I wanted to live. I had the will,
but I couldn’t; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me.
It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.
I didn’t want to die.
Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and
I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.