Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”
Customer: “Hello, can I order…”
Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s eh…, hold on……6102049998-45-54610″
Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr-John and you’re calling from 17 Embassy Square. Your home number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566.
Customer: “How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”
Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”
Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”
Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”
Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99″
Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”
Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”
Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”
Customer: “What!”
Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,…registration number 1123…”
Customer: “????”
Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”
Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic… ”
Customer: “#$$^%&$@$%^”
Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?”
Customer: [Faints]
CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020
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