Credit: All credits go to “English For All – English Journal” for this post.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Teacher: “Tommy, where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
Student: “At the bottom, I guess.”
I won’t go out
The swimsuit issue of a magazine that displayed a model wearing a skimpy bikini on its cover was occupying the attention of a wide-eyed man. Disturbed, his wife said, “That’s shameful! If i looked like that I wouldn’t leave my house”.
“To tell the truth” , the husband replied, “if you looked like that, neither would I.”
Two things about John Milton
Professor: “Tell me one or tow things about John Milton.”
Student: “Well, he got married and he wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.”
Can you make your own bad?
Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It’s $5 if you make your own bad.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
“It’s for my mother-in-law” , explained the mourner at the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, “My Doberman here killed her.”
“Gee… That’s terrible” , commiserated the spectator. “But.. Hmmmmm…. Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?”
The bereaved son-in-law pointed his humb over his shoulder and answered, “Get in line.”
Have Fun!! :)