The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: “Can’t you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!”
The boy replies back: “Darling, I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings, we only worry about errors.”
Related ~
Diana htoo from Facebook posted this awesome message on my Funwall last week. I’m kinda like it. If you already know about this, you may skip it or read it again. (I told you this because I got some bad comments in this post.)
Okay. Let’s start reading.. I hope you like it too…
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Title: Young and pretty lady wishes to marry a rich guy. Fantastic reply from a financial person
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who doesn’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
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Here’s a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of ‘beauty’ and ‘money’: Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a ‘trading position’. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term, same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or ‘leased’. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in ‘leasing’ services, do contact me.
signed, J.P. Morgan
MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER
Interviewer : What is your birth date?
Muthu : 13th October
Interviewer : Which year?
Muthu : … EVERY YEAR
MUTHU & HIS MANAGER
Manager asked to Muthu at an interview….
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Muthu replied: P-O-S-T-B-O- X
MUTHU & LONDON TRIP
After returning back from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife : No! Why?
Muthu : In London, a lady asked me, “Are you a foreigner?”.. that’s why …
Wife : SHOCKED!
MUTHU & TOURIST
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Muthu whether any great man born in this village or not ..
and Muthu said .. “No sir, only babies were born here .. ”
MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT
Muthu was doing experiment with cockroach.
First he cut it’s one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it’s second leg and told the same.
Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same.
At last he cut it’s fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn’t walk.
Suddenly Muthu said loudly, “I found it. If we cut cockroach’s four legs, it becomes deaf.
Muthu become a saint!
MUTHU & DRIVER
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted mirror.
Muthu shouted, “You are trying to see my wife ?
Sit back. I will drive.
MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL
Muthu went in a hotel.
To wash hands he went to the washbasin.
There he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the board “WASH BASIN”
MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART
Interviewer : Just imagine your in 20th floor in a building, it caught fire and how will you escape ?
Muthu : It’s simple.. I will just stop my imagination .. 
Oh .. i forgot . the funniest part ..
On a political rally Muthu was arrested. Why ????????????
Because, a woman journalist walking with a badge wrote “PRESS” on her right chest … and he did it !
Have Fun!
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then
I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.
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God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
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Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.
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The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn’t it rain on you?
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Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don’t feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you help me with my work?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
Now after the marriage …. you can read it from bellow to up !!!!
Note: Thanks to Julia for forwarding this mail.
Credit: All credits go to “English For All - English Journal” for this post.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Teacher: “Tommy, where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
Student: “At the bottom, I guess.”
I won’t go out
The swimsuit issue of a magazine that displayed a model wearing a skimpy bikini on its cover was occupying the attention of a wide-eyed man. Disturbed, his wife said, “That’s shameful! If i looked like that I wouldn’t leave my house”.
“To tell the truth” , the husband replied, “if you looked like that, neither would I.”
Two things about John Milton
Professor: “Tell me one or tow things about John Milton.”
Student: “Well, he got married and he wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.”
Can you make your own bad?
Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It’s $5 if you make your own bad.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
Bad Dog?
“It’s for my mother-in-law” , explained the mourner at the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, “My Doberman here killed her.”
“Gee… That’s terrible” , commiserated the spectator. “But.. Hmmmmm…. Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?”
The bereaved son-in-law pointed his humb over his shoulder and answered, “Get in line.”
Have Fun!!
